Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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