I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Non-Jews are for practice
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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