I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
