Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize