some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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