so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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