FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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