Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
