my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
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Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
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More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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