I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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