Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
