you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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