get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How external is "for external use only"?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
