whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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