Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
