yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
