Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
