That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
