Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
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