he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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