i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this just has baby written all over it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
