we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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