Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just cut my nipple shaving
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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