i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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