if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
