I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
