from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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