i don't like sucking hair
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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