i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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