Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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