I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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