my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
