I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
