Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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