If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
