Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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