I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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