In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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