We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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