okay pat passed out under dana's car
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
