ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
