before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
