Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
