what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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