my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize