i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
