ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
