Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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