There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize