literally had 100 drinks last night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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