I can tuck mytits in my pants
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
