best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
