writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
