If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
PANTIES FOUND
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