Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
