I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
