then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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