i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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